What's Holding YOU Back?

This morning, I started actively participating in a free training series through a fellow coach named Mindy Wender, called 21 Days to Thrive. It called for me to write down certain things, to analyze what may be holding me back. Well, this seemed pretty common sense to me at first, not very helpful.  But as I listened, I finally pressed pause on her video and took out the pen & paper.

I mean, what's holding me back? What is keeping me from being as successful as I possibly can be in life, and in everything else I do? I consider myself to actually BE fairly successful already, but of course everyone has those little doubts, those creeping little voices in the back of their head that whisper words like "other people can, not you..."

So I put it on paper. What is holding me back? Doubts and Fears, for starters. Yes, I realize I capitalized those. Because they are living, breathing things.  My biggest hold-up is a fear of failure, or so I thought. But in reality, its a fear of disappointing others. What if someone I am coaching doesn't achieve their goals? What if I can't give them what they need? What if, try as I might, I can't inspire them to achieve what they set out to achieve? This is my greatest fear.

Another is insecurity. Yes, I still struggle with that. I am afraid people will see me and think, "she can't coach! She doesn't have a super-model body." That's right I said it- I don't! I am not trying to be stick thin. I am not even done with my own personal journey. I no longer have a set pounds-lost goal, sure, but I have things I want to achieve. I am striving to be my best and healthiest self. Toned. And I'm not all the way there yet. So what if people make fun of me? Tell me I'm not good enough? Then what will I do? Will my business crumble? Will people stop believing in me, and therefore, themselves?

I also fear being misunderstood. This is kind of a new one for me, and one I didn't realize I had. I wonder if people know how much I really, truly care about helping others? That the idea of helping someone not feel that depressed, less-than way I used to feel, is my number one motivator. Helping them to get off medication, helping them to be more active to play with their children. Helping them to LIVE. BREATHE. LOVE. I hope so.

So my takeaways from this exercise? I refuse to let it control me-- the fear, that is. I refuse to be held back. After all, when Olivia was just a peanut in my tummy, was I scared? Sure! But I didn't let that fear keep me from having her! When I did the Insanity Fit Test and could barely make it through, did I let the fear of the rest of the program keep me from pushing play? No. I did not. So why would I let this fear keep me from leading the best, most successful life I can? From being the most amazing wife, mother, and coach possible? I don't know. But I'm not stopping now. For anything.

Sunday! Yay! Sunday! Its been a long hard week for me this week at work. Difficult. Made it hard to stay on top of my daily goals at home each morning when I felt completely beat up from the night before at work. Last night at 11:30 pm, a hospice patient put on his call light for maybe the 100th time during the shift. In my head, I groaned silently- and I'm ashamed to admit, in my head, I was thinking, "Seriously? What NOW?"

So when I answer his light, he asks me if I have time to sit with him and if I have a pen and paper. Honestly, I didn't have time. I was behind on my charting, busy running from room to room, and still had last rounds to do. But when looked at him, he had tears in his eyes. So I said I would get the paper. I hurried off and then ran back, thinking I would quickly jot down whatever it was he didn't want to forget before morning came. So he said, "I'd like to write a letter of commendation to your commanding officer." Mind. Blown.

So as I reflect this morning on the week that has gone by, I write this with a tear in my eye. We don't always know what's coming. But damned if I didn't get completely and utterly humbled by this frail man, this sick and dying man, this strong and capable soldier. Sometimes, when you think you have it all figured out, when you think you already know whats coming around the corner, you may just get surprised.

Darn Those Food Coupons!

Do you get these coupons in the mail like I do? 

Various restaurants restaurants restaurants restaurants restaurants restaurants restaurants restaurants restaurants restaurants and Burger King enticing you with specials to get you through those Golden Arches and in their doors. Well I am definitely a budget-conscious mama, and I used to save these coupons. We literally had a drawer where we stuffed these things "just in case." Well, I don't anymore, and here's why:

Sometimes I experience "deadline anxiety" where I feel like I literally HAVE to use them before they expire! I have enough deadlines in my life- and if I wasn't planning on going there By August 31st, then I don't need a coupon to tell me to. 😬

Often times you end up buying MORE food then you actually need, because it's such a good deal! I mean, buy 20 nuggets, get 20 nuggets free!? Awesome! Except that I didn't really need 40 nuggets to begin with. 😕

The items on these coupons are usually not the healthiest- they are usually the cheapest. I mean, let's face it, 2 whoppers for $2 is a great deal! Or buy a whopper, get a whopper free! A whopper has 670 calories in that one sandwich and over 40 g. Of fat! And don't even mention that they sell a Triple Whopper- trust me- you don't want to know!

Now don't get me wrong. That doesn't mean I eat perfect all the time- hell, who doesn't love a few nuggets!? But if I decide to indulge and go there, I'll do it at full price. And if not saving myself a buck or two is enough to keep me from going there, then all the better! have a beautiful day you gorgeous people!